If there’s one thing I’ve learned after years of being in software development, it’s that interviews aren’t just about algorithms and code… they’re about people. To be honest, I’ve seen folks much smarter than me struggle, and some average coders (me included, back in the day) land great roles simply because they connected well with the interviewer.
I still remember my early days-nervous before every interview, thinking “Will they like me? Am I good enough?” Back then, I stumbled upon Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends & Influence People. I didn’t expect a self-help classic from 1936 to help with tech interviews, but those simple ideas changed how I approached people-not just interviews.
Here are six simple (but powerful) lessons from Carnegie’s book, with a little bit of my own story thrown in, for anyone trying to crack their next tech interview:
1. Show Genuine Interest
I know how easy it is to get caught up in talking about your own skills-believe me, I’ve done it. But the best conversations happen when you’re honestly interested in the other person. Ask them about their team, their work, what excites them. It’s not a trick, it’s just being human.
Example:
“I saw your team recently launched a new AI feature-what part of that project did you find most rewarding?”
This isn’t about impressing them. It’s about showing curiosity - something that’s helped me break the ice in many tough interviews.
2. Use Their Name (Gently)
This one felt odd to me at first. I’m not naturally smooth with names! But people really do appreciate it when you address them personally (as long as it doesn’t sound forced). I once had a student, Anjali, who told me, “I just tried to make it a real conversation, and using the interviewer’s name helped me stay calm too.” Small thing, but it really works.
Example:
“Thanks for explaining that, Priya. That really helps me understand your team’s process.”
3. Be a Good Listener
I’ll admit, early on, I felt I had to talk a lot to prove my knowledge. Over time, I realized that sometimes the less I talked, the better things went. One of my best interviews was actually when I listened more and then connected my answers to what the interviewer shared.
Example:
“You mentioned deployment speed is a priority. My last project tackled something similar-can I share how we approached that?”
4. Appreciate, Don’t Flatter
We can all tell the difference between real appreciation and empty flattery. Early in my career, I tried to please everyone by complimenting too much. Didn’t work. The compliments that matter are specific and genuine. If someone’s work has actually helped you, let them know.
Example:
“Your open-source project actually inspired me to start contributing last year-so thank you!”
5. Admit When You Don’t Know
I used to be terrified of not knowing something. In one of my first interviews, I pretended to know a library I’d never used - and it backfired. Now, I always tell students: honesty is better. Admitting you don’t know, and showing you want to learn, is a huge plus.
Example:
“I haven’t used that specific library yet, but I’d love to dig into the docs and experiment if given the opportunity.”
6. Talk in Terms of Their Interests
I learned this the hard way. For years, I’d just rattle off my achievements. The real breakthrough came when I started linking my story to what the company actually cared about. Even if you don’t have big projects, connect your journey to their goals.
Example:
“I saw you’re scaling up your cloud infrastructure. I recently worked on a similar migration project that improved reliability for our users.”
Honestly, these are not magic bullets. I still get nervous before interviews. Sometimes I stumble or forget a name. But these small, human habits have made a huge difference for me and many students I’ve taught.
At the end of the day, interviews are just conversations. Be curious, be kind, and be yourself. You might be surprised at how far that takes you.
Good luck! And remember, you’re more than just your resume.
